The Life and Times of Alann

So as many of you know we are coming to an end of an era of our lives. I am going to be done with my bachelors, Becca wants to stay at home and we now have a baby to take care of. We also have some big decisions to deal with, should i continue in school and get a masters here, somewhere else. Should i try to get a job in this recession. If we stay here should Becca stay home or go back to work, what about Claire? Can we afford to have Becca stay home or pay someone to watch the baby? These are all questions that i have posted about before and that we have been grappling with for a while now.

Its just that now the baby is here and Becca's maternity leave is running out and while i have submitted 6-8 resumes from as far back as early February i have yet to hear back from any of them and time is simply running out for us. It seems like everyday i try and come up with a new way to attack this problem and while i have not given up it is getting overwhelming. For a while we thought we had come up with a fix because a lady in our congregation was willing to watch Claire a couple days out of the week. Then last night she called and said it wasn't worth it to her and if they needed the extra money she would just have her husband get a second part time job. Thanks a lot, there went that little beam of sunshine.

The job i have here is nice and i like my co-workers, its just not the field i want to get into. Doing traffic analysis for the rest of my life is not what i would call exciting. And technically i am an intern-part time employee mix with no benefits, lower pay and a 32 hour cap and i don't think they hire full time people with less than a masters degree. So even if i did want to stay at this company i couldn't without going to more school or taking less pay and part time till i had enough experiance to just kinda fall into a position and that doesn't help us out at all.

I really like working outside and managing and my current boss says that i am really good at doing regional level policy analysis, so i guess if i could find something that fit into all those categories i would be the happiest with my long run job. I think if i could do anything i would want to move back to Columbia get a full or 35+ hour part time job doing some kind of environmental planning where i was in the office 75% of the time and out in the field the rest of the time and then at the same time get my masters from Mizzou in either arch studies, environmental engineering, or some kind of design or environmental degree. For the most part this post is just an outlet for some of my thoughts, just to get them out of there and on to "paper". I wonder if that is how writers feel about writing. Like they just can't get these ideas out of their heads until they write them down and then after that they feel a sense of relief.

Aw well, things aren't really bad and something will work out it's just the waiting that kills me. But i guess if i can't find a job we can always go live with my parents.